umaaraw, umuulan.

I have been asked the same question over and over again these past few days -- how does it feel to be 30?

To be honest, I don't feel any different physically. And I still look 25.

But I've been noticing that my maternal instincts have kicked in -- waaay in. Like never in my life have I yearned this much to have a child. Could it be that once you hit 30 that fabled "biological clock" really starts ticking? I need to find a snooze button on that pronto!

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So what did I do on my birthday? The usual -- dinner (in Kabisera -- the "high end" Dencio's which is not better than the "low end" one) with family and close friends, drinks in Warehouse with my dearest buds, and the next night, a really yummy dimsum dinner in Binondo thanks to Noel (who was sweet enough to take the day off on my birthday). I really felt like I was in some dingy noodle house in HK's Kowloon side. God I love dimsum so much I swear I can eat it everyday.

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As my birthday gift to myself I decided to quit smoking once and for all. Now that I'm working at a health show and constantly reading about these doomsday articles about women and smoking, I figured it's really now or never. Day 3 and so far, so good. Just a little dryness in my mouth but no major withdrawal symptoms. 

I read in a quit smoking blog that it's better to list down things that make you smoke so you can avoid them in the futre. So here they are:
1. Stress from work.
2. Taking a poop.
3. Drinking.
4. Going out.

I experimented in Europe with my family and it was possible for me to poop without the cigarettes... I just had to consume a lot of milk. But I wonder if my healthy 3-times-a-day bowel movement will be affected by the absence of tobacco?

Ok moving on.

I've avoided social situations so far (i.e. drinking sessions) so I can avoid the urge to smoke with a glass of vodka or rum at hand... because it really feels so damn good to smoke with alcohol. 

Hopefully, 1 month will whiz by and then 2 and then 3. Wish me luck guys!!

I love Europe. I really do. There's something about walking on cobbled streets, going inside hundred-year-old basilicas and cathedrals, exploring imposing castles, gorging on the local food, and trying to express yourself in their local language. Europe is addicitng... and it's an addiciton that I don't ever want to get over.

So this year we went around Central and Eastern Europe -- Budapest, Krakow, Prague, and Berlin. Eastern Europe is slow, inefficient, and a little backward compared to their Western neighbours -- but that isn't such a bad thing. True, the only real hassle was waiting for trains that were always an hour late or being lost in translation at airports and train stations... but everything else led to its charm. Because Eastern Europe still has the shadow of Communism and years of socialism to shake off in order to catch up with the West, the area has a melancholic feel to it... like those old Nescafe ads shot in Europe, full of shadow and fog. So atmospheric.

Among the cities, Prague was definitely my favorite. It's Europe's best kept secret. I'd love to spend more time there just to explore the countryside and see more of the Jewish Quarter. My two days there were so rushed.

And I will never forget our visit to the concentration camp in Auschwitz, Poland. But I'll blog about that another day.

So now I'm in Berlin -- the last leg of my tour. I am a bit sad about leaving this lovely continent again but I'm admittedly ready to go back home. Must get back to work, to disc, to family, and to Noel.

Europe, I'll see you next year.

Here in Hungary, paprika is king. And I suspect it's also making me extra flatulent. 

Budapest is a complete suprise. I thought it would be as chaotic as Italy and as exotic as Turkey but it's surprisingly very chic -- a cross between Paris and Rome (my dad says it actually looks like Vienna). Lots of preserved buildings, historical sites, churches and synagogues... the only thing left from its recent Communist era are the souvenir t-shirts that have Lennin on the front.

The Danube River rea is absolutely picture perfect. I'm kicking myself now for not making my way there for sunset.

Tomorrow we head to Krakow, Poland. Hopefully I can squeeze in  trip to Auscwitz and be utterly depressed.

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• Stand up for yourself... and me.
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
• Give me space to be alone.
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

This part is just sooo true it's scary. This guy is good. I hate people who malign others on purpose through malicious gossip -- something of which I have been a victim of recently. Ugh I jsut don't understand people sometimes.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

• being independent and self-reliant
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
• upholding just causes

Bingo again.

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
• putting too much pressure on myself
• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bullseye.

EIGHTs as Children Often

• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
• are sometimes loners
• seize control so they won't be controlled
• fugure out others' weaknesses
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

I actually was an independent child and liked going off on my own, much to my parent's chagrin. I guess that's how my mum realized I was a survivor.

EIGHTs as Parents

• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
• are sometimes overprotective
• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

I think I will be overprotecting and demanding. I dunno.

It's so fucking hot here. I love it. Heading to the beach tomorrow with my Alabangbanger family and I'm totally psyched about it.

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Work has been hectic... been sleeping just 4 hours a day writing and checking scripts. It astounds me how some "experienced" producers aren't very good and aren't very smart. I realize that the training I got from Gameplan and Probe was really the best in the business. Most of the time I wanna pull out my hair and scream at my producers for not thinking straight. Kainis!

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I love riding the MRT to work everyday. Love it! 

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Noel wants us to find a place together. Like a real place where I can put my books and pictures and stuff. Ah to nest again... indulge what little nestings instincts I have -- which really is all about buying bedsheets and frames. I'm not much of a decorator. I am happy of course... but sometimes I think of how fast it's all been. We've been going out for 7? 8 months? And living together since November. But then it feels right. And when something feels right, you know you can't go wrong.

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I miss my dog George. I only see him once or twice a week in Alabang. Maybe I'll bring him this weekend.